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David Bruce: The Funniest People in Families, Volume 5 — Weddings, Work

David Bruce Anecdotes

Weddings

• Bloopers sometimes appear in newspapers, as when the California Jewish Voice published this marriage announcement: “Miss Deborah Stein, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Arnold Stein, was joined in marriage yesterday afternoon to Mr. Harry Salzman, at Temple Israel in Beverly Hills. Mr. Salzman is a well-known collector of gargoyles.”

• Comedian Lewis Black got married in Rockville, Maryland. After the ceremony, he saw two police officers with a shackled prisoner in between them. Mr. Black told his brother, “When God sends a message, He certainly makes it loud and clear.” The marriage didn’t last even a year.

• Very early in his ministry, the Reverend Ed Crandall was approached by a young couple who asked him to officiate at the wedding. He agreed, adding, “I will do my best, but remember, this is my very first wedding.” The groom replied, “That’s all right. This is my first time, too.”

• William Bennett, the former Education Secretary, once attended a wedding where the bride and groom recited their own vows and declared that they would be together “as long as love shall last.” Mr. Bennett said, “I sent paper plates as my wedding gift.”

Work

• Artist John Buscema worked for a while creating comic books, but he began to work in advertising after comic books came under attack in the mid- and late 1950s as a result of a psychologist named Fredric Wertham, who published a book titled Seduction of the Innocent after noticing that the juvenile delinquents he worked with read comic books. (So did the author of this book, and so probably did the readers of this book.) A problem with Mr. Buscema’s advertising job was that he had to commute a long distance and work long hours, with the result that he seldom saw his son awake during his son’s first year of life. Mr. Buscema says that “I would get home, and he’d be asleep. I would leave, and he’d be asleep. The weekends would come around, and I could go home, but I’d be working. It was a real cutthroat business.” In 1966, his old boss at Marvel Comics, Stan Lee, called him with a job offer. Because Mr. Buscema could work at home and could see his son while his son was awake, he accepted the job offer and started working on such comics as The Fantastic 4, Spider-Man, The Silver Surfer, Conan the Barbarian, The Incredible Hulk, The Mighty Thor, and The Avengers. As a result, he earned a nickname: The Michelangelo of Comics.

• In August of 2004, Jim Romenesko launched a website called <StarbucksGossip.com>. Once, he asked readers of the website to list the celebrities they had seen buying coffee at Starbucks. One barista who worked at a Starbucks located across the street from the Johnson Space Center in Houston, Texas, replied that “75 percent of our business is NASA employees. When we get bored, we like to watch the NASA channel and spot customers.” Mr. Romenesko also occasionally does such things as start discussion threads; for example, he once asked, “How much should you tip for a cup of coffee?” Many customers were adamant that they should NOT tip for a cup of coffee, but many baristas were adamant that customers SHOULD tip for a cup of coffee. Mr. Romenesko says, “A few Starbucks baristas put people on notice that people who didn’t tip would get ‘decaffed’ — meaning, of course, the caffeinated drink they ordered would not have any caffeine in it.”

• Some companies are gay-friendly. When Microsoft was recruiting Jon Henderson, a gay program manager now in its Developer Division, it asked, “Can I send your lover a bottle of wine or some flowers to help you make your decision?” And when an executive at Xerox made anti-gay statements, the company did not force him to takediversity-training workshops — it forced him to give the diversity-training workshops.

• Carl Jung was once asked by a patient to set up a session at a certain time. However, Dr. Jung replied that he did not have time to see him. Later, at the time the patient had asked for an appointment, he saw Dr. Jung relaxing on Lake Zurich. When he accused Dr. Jung of insincerity, Dr. Jung replied, “I really don’t have time to see you because I am keeping an appointment I have set up with myself. It is one of the most important appointments of my day.”

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Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

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The Funniest People in Families, Volume 5 — Smashwords (Free Download)

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/108841

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