David Bruce: The Funniest People in Families, Volume 5 — Mothers, Music, Names

David Bruce Anecdotes

Mothers

• In 1962, Plácido Domingo sang in Lucia di Lammermoor with Lily Pons. On the back of a photograph of the two opera stars, Mr. Domingo’s mother wrote, “Lily Pons and Little Plácido.” At the time, Mr. Plácido was 21 years old and stood six-feet, one-inch tall.

• Seattle Mariner Alex Rodriguez’ mother was a waitress. To teach her baseball-playing son math skills, she used to have him count her tips.

Music

• The parents of children’s book author Barbara Park — creator of Junie B. Jones — were very supportive; in fact, she thought it was funny how supportive they were. For example, when Barbara was taking piano lessons, her mother thought that she would be a wonderful pianist. One day, Barbara mentioned her mother’s high opinion of her piano playing to her father, who told her, seriously, “But you were good. You played the piano beautifully. You were really, really good.” However, Barbara remembers her 4^th-grade piano recital, at which she attempted to play “Born Free.” She played the first page, and then she forgot the next four pages of the song. Therefore, she played the last chord of the song and left the stage.

• When they were children, young people’s author William Sleator and Vicky, his sister, sometimes babysat their younger siblings Danny and Tycho. One of the things they did to amuse their younger siblings was to sing them a babysitting song that they had created — Vicky played the tune on the piano. The song was about two young children whose parents left them; the end of the song was “They never saw their mommy and daddy again.” Danny and Tycho used to listen to the song and cry, but when it was over, they requested, “Play it again. Pleaseplay it again.”

• During a rehearsal of Otello, Plácido Domingo, who was playing the title role, was throwing the opera’s Iago, Sherrill Milnes, around on stage. Because Mr. Milnes is far from being a lightweight, he was of course helping. However, Mr. Milnes’ young son was unaware of this, and he started crying, “Daddy! Daddy!” Fortunately, Mr. Domingo was able to reassure him by saying, “Don’t worry. Daddy’s as strong as a mule and could easily do me in if he wanted to. Besides, he’ll get back at me during the opera.”

• When she was a little girl, Christina Aguilera used to sing concerts to an audience that consisted of all of her stuffed animals. (She used an old baton as a microphone.) She also used to sing along with The Sound of Music soundtrack. All that early practice paid off. At a Beaver County talent contest, young Christina sang and another contestant who heard her refused to go onstage and compete because Christina was too good. Of course, Christina won the talent contest easily.

• English entertainer Joyce Grenville knew a couple of sisters who were interested in music. Whenever they needed a housemaid or a cowman, they would advertise for a housemaid or a cowman with a particular musical talent; for example, a contralto-housemaid or a tenor-cowman. These servants formed a choir for which the sisters provided professional direction. Frequently, the servant choir gave concerts.

Names

• These days, you can legally change your name in Great Britain for only £7.50 online, and many people have taken advantage of the cheap rate. Many people have used UK Deed Poll Service to change their names. Unfortunately, some people have changed their names to such atrocities as Toasted T Cake, Daddy Fantastic, and Jellyfish McSaveloy — possibly as the result of lost pub bets. Louise Bowers of UK Deed Poll Service says, “I did a Darth Vader once, and he asked me to become his Princess Leia. My husband wasn’t too pleased.”

• After being married for over 30 years to his wife, Carmen, Yogi Berra sent her an anniversary card — and signed it, “Yogi Berra.” This amused Carmen, and she asked him why he had signed his full name — did he think she might think the anniversary card had come from another “Yogi^.”

• When Clyde, Maya Angelou’s son, grew up, he decided that he wanted to be called “Guy.” Ms. Angelou told him about a river in Scotland that was named the Clyde River, but her son replied, “It’s an O.K. name for a river, but my name is Guy.” Ms. Angelou started calling him “Guy.”

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