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David Bruce: The Funniest People in Families, Volume 4 — Work, and The Funniest People in Families, Volume 5 — Activism

David Bruce Anecdotes


• Classical dancer Erik Bruhn used to hire a cleaner to come and do his housekeeping, but things did not always work out as planned. For one thing, he would pile his dirty dishes in the sink, but after a while, and before the cleaner came to wash the dishes, he would wash them himself. Why? Mr. Bruhn explains, “Because I can’t stand to see dirty dishes.”

• Val Halamandaris’ father, John, was a coal miner, and he did not want his son to be a coal miner when he grew up. Therefore, he often took his sons to a law court so they could see a lawyer arguing a case, and he sometimes also took his sons into the coalmine. Val writes, “It did not take a genius to figure out that one was a better way to make a living than the other.”

• Susan, a friend of lesbian humorist Garbo, once went to a job interview wearing dress slacks and blazer. The interviewer looked at her outfit and exclaimed, “Oh, good. All the applicants so far have been those strident, hairy-legged types.” Susan rolled up a pant leg, showed the interviewer a hairy leg, and then she left the office without saying a word.

• Arthur Fiedler, conductor of the Boston Pops (for popular, rather than pop, music), lived by the personal motto, “He who rests rots.” Long after most people retire, he was still at work bringing music to other people. Of course, one piece of advice that he gave other people was “to make your life’s work something that you really enjoy.”

• Young Frederik Pohl used to spend his summers on his uncle’s farm. When he wanted to rest from doing chores, he would hide in the attic, where he had discovered a horde of hundreds of science fiction pulp magazines that he read for hours. As an adult, he wrote such books as Brain Wave and The Queen of Air and Darkness.

• In 1903, Pierre and Marie Curie were awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics. Immediately, reporters came to interview them. At their home, they found the Curies’ six-year-old daughter, Irène, and they asked her where her parents were. She replied, “At the laboratory, of course.”

• Bruce Degen, author/illustrator of such children’s books as Jamberry, used to ride the subway to work, stay at work all day, then come home. Now, he picks up a cup of coffee at home, tells his wife, “I’m off to the office, dear,” and then he walks upstairs.

• Oprah Winfrey was very young and still in college when she began to work as a co-anchor for the CBS station WTVF-TV in Nashville, Tennessee. She says that she was “the only news anchor in the country who had to be home by midnight.”

• While working as a messenger, Jerry Della Femina frequently went into advertising offices where he noticed that the workers had their feet on their desks. He thought, “Wow! That’s the business for me. No heavy lifting.”


• Wendy Roby recommends that people engage in random acts of feminism. For example, if “lads’ mags,” which feature photos of nude women, offend you, you can simply go to the stores that sells this kind of “reading” material and put copies of Good Housekeeping in front of these magazines to obscure their covers. A person who goes by the name Charlie Grrl recommends “subvertising” the lads’ mags by adding Post-it notes to the covers. For example, the Post-it notes could say, “Despite my come-hither expression, I wouldn’t shag a Nuts reader for a million pounds” or “I am somebody’s sister.” Another idea: Some prostitutes use calling cards as advertising. Why not make up some of your own and post them where prostitutes post theirs? For example: “Too sad and ugly for a real girlfriend? Call me!” The phone number listed could be for a very expensive psychic hotline. One woman once visited a toy store with her daughters, where they saw a pink castle with a blonde princess in the highest turret. The woman took out a blank card, wrote a message on it, and attached it to the highest turret. The message was this: “Please let me out. I gotta get to work!”


Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved


The Funniest People in Families, Volume 4 — Smashwords (Free Download)

The Funniest People in Families, Volume 5 — Smashwords (Free Download)


davidbrucebooks: FREE PDFs

David Bruce at Smashwords (PDFs and Other Formats)


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