David Bruce: The Funniest People in Families — Mothers

David Bruce Anecdotes


• Families with two mothers sometimes get interesting reactions from other people. Amie K. Miller and her partner, Jane, adopted and are raising a daughter named Hannah, who is four years old. Hannah’s family gets some attention from children her own age, one of whom, Annika, asked Amie, “How come Hannah has two moms?” Amie replied, “Well, I guess she’s just lucky.” Annika’s mother’s reaction was interesting. She told Annika, “I wish you had two moms. That would be great.” Amie has heard this often, and she explains the comment in this way: Most people believe that “having two women as parents means fewer socks lying on the floor, more help with the dishes, and less complaining about sitting up with the kid at night.” And yes, she and Jane do share childcare, although their home does sometimes have socks lying on the floor and dishes sitting in the sink.

• When Ralph Nader was in the 8th grade, one of the boys in his class said about a girl in their class, “What a pig.” The girl — who was friendly and whom everyone liked, at least until the onset of testosterone in this young male — heard him and was hurt. All young Ralph could think about was what his deeply moral mother would have told the boy, “I believe it’s you.” In this particular situation, that sentence means, “There’s nothing wrong with that girl. But there is something wrong with you.” Whenever Ralph or one of his siblings acted in a base manner, their mother would tell him or her, “I believe it’s you.”

• The mother of Theodor Geisel, aka Dr. Seuss, was very encouraging to her son. He once showed her a drawing he had made of an animal with enormous ears. He told her that the animal was called a “Wynnmph,” and his mother said that of course that was the animal’s name and that his drawing of it was wonderful. In addition, his mother encouraged him to read and play piano as well as draw and actually used his love of reading to bribe him to practice his piano lessons. When he played well, she took him to a bookstore and let him pick out a book for her to buy for him.

• When comedian Margaret Cho’s mother went to the hospital, she left a treasure map for Margaret, showing where her jewelry was hidden around the house. For example, some pieces of jewelry were wrapped in tissue paper and placed in a coffee can, and other pieces of jewelry were hidden in other places around the house. Ms. Cho says that her mother was hiding jewelry as if a war was going on, and she is quick to add that yes, during President George W. Bush’s administration, a war was going on.

• After making it big in show business, Bill Dana bought a fancy home with a fancy kitchen, then showed it to his mother, who looked at everything, especially the fancy kitchen with its numerous electric appliances, and said, “That’s very nice.” The next day, he got a gift from his mother — a big box of Manischewitz canned goods and a can opener, along with a note that said, “In case, darling, you should blow a fuse.”

• Children’s book author Joan Lowery Nixon had two daughters, one of whom loved to read and one of whom loved to roller skate. Kathy got straight A’s in English, and Maureen would have gotten A’s in roller-skating if such an activity was graded in school. One day, Ms. Nixon asked Maureen, “Don’t you like to read, sweetheart?” Maureen replied, “I do, and I would read a lot if I could read while I’m roller skating.”

• The mother of Alma Reed, the agent of Mexican artist José Clemente Orozco, believed in the supernatural. She once had Mr. Orozco make a wish, then she performed a reading and told him that his wish would not come true. “That is bad — very bad,” Mr. Orozco said. “I wished for peace and for happiness for all humanity.”

• Comedian Milton Berle’s mother was very proud of him. Whenever he paged her in a hotel, she would answer the telephone loudly, so other people would hear: “Hello, is this my son, Milton Berle?”


Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved


The Funniest People in Families, Volume 4 — Smashwords (Free Download)



davidbrucebooks: FREE PDFs

David Bruce at Smashwords (PDFs and Other Formats)

One response to “David Bruce: The Funniest People in Families — Mothers”

  1. “I believe it’s you.” Very nice.

    Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Create your website with WordPress.com
Get started
%d bloggers like this: