David Bruce: The Funniest People in Families, Volume 4 — Education, Fathers

Education

• Educators can cuss in educated ways. A shop teacher hit his thumb with a hammer, then yelled, “Grand Coulee.” Asked why he had yelled that, he replied, “Grand Coulee is the biggest dam in the United States.”

• Harvard Law School professor Alan M. Dershowitz, a practicing attorney with controversial opinions, frequently gets hate mail — some of which he posts on his office door so students can read it.

• “Sensei” is the name given to a teacher of the martial arts. The name comes from two words: “Sen” meaning “before,” and “sei” meaning “born.” Thus, your teacher is one who is born before you.

• A young Catholic schoolchild requested that his A for an assignment be raised to an A+. When the Sister asked why he wanted an A+, he replied, “Because that’s how good I am.”

Fans

• Isaac Asimov became a science fiction fan early in his life, and after receiving his first library card he used to walk home from the library carrying three science fiction books. He would carry one book under his right arm, and a second book under his left arm. The third book he would hold open in both hands, so he could read it as he walked. Later, he wrote such science fiction books as I, Robot, and in his lifetime he published more than 500 books!

• Children’s book author Peg Kehret occasionally gets letters from children, and she likes the ones that come from her fans. The letters that are signed “Your #1 fan” or that include a list of books by Ms. Kehret that the child has read she tries to promptly answer. Unfortunately, occasionally a letter will come from a child who wants her to write back, but the child did not include a return address.

• As a young man, Brazilian novelist Paulo Coelho idolized Argentine novelist Jorge Luis Borges. Mr. Coelho even made a trip to see Mr. Borges, and he did see but not speak to Mr. Borges. He could have spoken to the great writer, but he thought, “Idols don’t speak,” so he left.

Fathers

• Comedian Jerry Seinfeld loves his family. In 2007, he says about Sasha, his six-year-old daughter, “A daughter is God’s greatest gift to a man. Why? Because they never don’t want to kiss you.” Of course, he loves his sons, too, but he admits, “There’s something a little girl brings out in a dad that nothing else does.” As a dad with a loving wife, he believes in eating health-giving foods; in fact, his wife, Jessica, authored a cookbook titled Deceptively Delicious, which is about making health-giving foods taste good. According to Mr. Seinfeld, “Chocolate disguises everything — even cauliflower.” Of course, despite being a family man, he still has an edge, and he still finds ways to rebel. For example, he says, “One of the things I like to do is correct spelling and complete sentences while texting — that’s my rage against the machine.”

• At the 1992 Olympic Games in Barcelona, Spain, Derek Redmond was injured while running in a semi-final of the 400-meter race. He wanted to finish the race despite the major pain he felt, so he struggled to continue. His father, Jim Redmond, was in the stands, but he came out onto the racetrack and told his son, “Look, you don’t have to do this.” Derek replied, “Yes, I do.” His father then said, “Well, if you’re going to finish this race, let’s do it together.” Jim helped his son to finish the race, and they crossed the finish line together.

• Bill Lee, filmmaker Spike Lee’s father, was a jazz musician who refused to compromise his art. He played acoustic stand-up bass and refused to play the electric Fender bass, even though it was more popular and would have gotten him more jobs to support his family. Spike said while making his film Mo’ Better Blues, “Everything I know about jazz, I know from my father. I saw his integrity, how he was not going to play just any kind of music, no matter how much money he could make.”

• Scout leaders need to be aware of the effects that divorce and living in a single-parent family have on children. One Girl Scout troop had a father-daughter dance, but because the Scout leaders were aware that some of the girls in the troop came from divorced or single-parent families, they let the Girl Scouts invite anyone they wanted to invite. One of the Girl Scouts invited her uncle, and another Girl Scout invited her older brother.

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Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

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The Funniest People in Families, Volume 4 — Smashwords (Free Download)

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/108830

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