David Bruce: The Funniest People in Families, Volume 3 — Works and The Funniest People in Families, Volume 4 — Advertising, Alcohol, Animals

Work

• As a teenager, baseball player Truett “Rip” Sewell worked at a drugstore, where he created a window display one evening, using pretty bottles and pretty boxes from the shelves of the store. Unfortunately, the owner of the drugstore saw the window display the following morning and fired him. Why? The pretty bottles contained a laxative, and the pretty boxes contained toilet tissue. Mr. Sewell, however, said, “Quite a display, it seemed to me. It looked real nice.”

• When John F. Kennedy was elected President, he wanted Robert, his brother, to serve as Attorney General of the United States, although he knew that he would be accused of nepotism. However, when he announced his choice to the media, he first explained his brother’s qualifications for the job, and then added, “Besides, I see no reason why Bobby shouldn’t get a little experience before he goes out to practice law.”

• J.R.R. Tolkien, author of The Lord of the Rings and creator of the wizard Gandalf, served as a soldier in World War I, and one of his sons, Michael, served as a soldier in World War II. At one point, Michael transferred to the Royal Air Force from the Army, and while filling out a form that asked for his father’s occupation, he wrote, “WIZARD.”

Advertising

• In 1982, MCI produced a TV commercial that made fun of AT&T’s commercial in which a mother begins crying because her grown-up son called “just because I love you.” In the MCI commercial, a mother begins crying after her son calls. Why? She says, “Have you seen our long-distance phone bill?” At a conference, the advertising company suggesting doing a version of the commercial in which the mother would say that the “greedy, blood-sucking monopoly had drained the family resources.” The then-chair of MCI, Bill McCowan, liked the idea, but suggested that they come up with a stronger word than “blood-sucking.”

• Edsel Ford of the famous Ford family had the ability to recognize good advertising, and he had the ability to make up his mind quickly. He once read five full-page ads for the Ford Motor Company, then said, “I think they will do all right. I have one change I’d like to suggest. In one of the advertisements, I see you use the word ‘perfect.’ I think it would be better to say ‘correct.’ Nothing is perfect.”

Alcohol

• Late in life, Sir Wilfred Lawson disliked alcohol and supported legislation against drinking. However, when he was a university student he had a barrel of beer in his room. Unfortunately, this was against the rules and he was called up before the university authorities, where he made the case that he was drinking the beer under doctor’s orders so he could become stronger. As proof that he was indeed becoming stronger, he said, “When the barrel came, I could not move it an inch; but now I find that I can quite easily roll it around the room.”

• Dodger pitcher Preacher Roe drank too much one night, and when the designated driver dropped him off at his home, Preacher was singing as loudly as he could. The next day, he told the designated driver that he was surprised that his wife had woken up when he came home — after all, he had remembered to take off his shoes before coming into his house.

• Travelers must often be problem solvers. While traveling in Russia, Betty Clabaugh (the sister of Doris Jadan, wife of tenor Ivan Jadan) knew that she shouldn’t drink the water. Therefore, she brushed her teeth with champagne.

Animals

• Children’s book author Peg Kehret and her husband, Carl, volunteer at a Humane Society. One day, they met Daisy, a six-month-old Cairn terrier (just like Toto in The Wizard of Oz), and fell in love with her. However, they already had a cat and a dog, so they thought that they ought to go home and discuss whether to adopt Daisy. Actually, they didn’t have to go home to make their decision. They talked it over for a few minutes in the parking lot, and then they adopted Daisy. Now, when Daisy gets in her doggie bed to go to sleep, Peg sings her a doggie lullaby — something they both enjoy.

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Copyright by Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved

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The Funniest People in Families, Volume 3 — Smashwords (Free Download)

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/108821

The Funniest People in Families, Volume 4 — Smashwords (Free Download)

https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/108830

MANY FREE PDFs:

davidbrucebooks: FREE PDFs

David Bruce at Smashwords (PDFs and Other Formats)

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