Open-Mic Night at Ohio University’s Baker Center: 8 April 2022

Bruce Dalzell, emcee
Tim Pfaff
Rylee Bapst
David and Sam (Samantha)
David and Samantha

DAVID BRUCE’S SPOKEN WORD, MORE OR LESS (What I really said was less sexy.)


A high school English class gave the students an assignment: Find an old person and ask them what advice they would give young people. Here goes:


You decide which good habits you want to form. Some of them will be things that you have to do or ought to do, and so you form a habit of doing them so that you do them automatically.

Floss your teeth every day and eat fruits and veggies, and you can save thousands of dollars in dental and medical bills.

Other habits may be such things as engaging in leisure reading every day. It’s up to you.


Avoid forming the habit of over-eating, and avoid forming the habit of under-exercising, and you won’t have to worry about becoming obese.

Avoid the habit of smoking, and you both save a lot of money and increase your chances of living a long, healthy life.

Avoid addiction to illegal drugs, and you can save yourself a heaping helping of trouble.

And so on.



Try to be efficient at doing the actions you have to do. They usually include making a living for adults, and studying for students. Try to find ways to do them well, and perhaps quickly. For studying, you may want to form the habit of studying at a certain time and place. In some families, once the dishes are washed and dried after the evening meal, the kids sit down at the dinner table and do homework until the homework is done.


Try to make habits of the things you ought to do. If they become habits, you will do them automatically.

Make a habit of eating one or more veggies at every meal. 

Make a habit of flossing in the morning and in the evening. 

Make a habit of stretching when you wake up in the morning (or some other habitual time). 

Everyone ought be good at personal finance. Make a habit of paying bills on time so you don’t get hit with late fees.

Everyone in a long-term committed relationship ought to be good at getting the other person off. Seriously, sit the other person down and say, “We have the rest of our lives to become experts at getting each other off. Let’s make sure we do that.” Before you have kids, at the breakfast table you can talk what you liked or didn’t like from the previous night’s activities.

Ask: “What did you really, really like, and what did not like so much last night?” A question like that should elicit a more informative answer than “I think you need to up your game.”

I made this one an action you ought to do rather an action you have to do because I am sure that none of you will ever be arrested for being bad in bed.

Give yourselves a round of applause.

Of course, being bad in bed is not illegal.

And no, I did not talk about this particular advice with the high school student.


If the things you want to do don’t conflict with the things you have to do and the things you ought to do, go ahead and do them. 

Maybe this is where the sex advice should go. But some women complain that not every guy cares enough to want his sex partner to get off.

Maybe being bad in bed ought to be illegal. 

Of course, there should be a waiver for at least the first time, which is usually awkward, especially when both people are virgins.

I remember my first time. It was her first time, too. 

After it was over, she said, “That’s it? That’s sex? What’s all the fuss about?”

I was thinking the same thing.

Both of us got better.

If you are an adult and in addition to having sex, you want to read fairy stories, go ahead and read fairy stories. C.S. Lewis, author of  the Chronicles of Narnia, and Tolkien, author of Lord of the Rings, did.

Ray Bradbury, author of Fahrenheit 451, collected Buck Rogers newspaper comic strips when he was young, but after some kids made fun of him for doing that, he threw them away. A little later, he cried, and he wished he had not done that.

I like to watch K-Pop Music Dance Cover groups on YouTube. Korean Pop groups make videos of them performing and dancing to their music, and fans in Korea and other countries make their own videos of themselves doing the same dances. 

These videos are egalitarian. Every dancer gets a chance to be front and center.

Also, watching these videos is socially acceptable girl-watching. Or guy-watching.

I have always thought that YouTube would or could be a force for peace. 

I look at YouTube videos of K-Pop music dance covers by Ukrainian women, and then I look at YouTube videos of K-Pop music dance covers by Russian women, and I can’t see any difference between the Ukrainian women and the Russian women. Unfortunately, Vladimir Putin, the Russian President, must not watch these videos, or he never would have bombed Ukraine. 

I can’t tell you why Russian President Vladimir Putin has such a fetish for turning live Ukrainian men, women, and children into dead Ukrainian men, women, and children — I wouldn’t give you a dime for a dozen dead babies, Ukrainian or Russia — but I can tell you this:

I don’t ever want to learn what Putin keeps in the Kremlin basement.

Steephill later M-STREAM) was a Ukrainian dance group. M-STREAM or may not still exist in some form. Probably not.
ONE TAKE is a Russian dance group.

Tim Pfaff: “All I Really Want to Do”

Tim Pfaff: “Do You Want to Be in Love”

Tim Pfaff: “Coonskin Maple Water”

Bruce Dalzell: Grampa (Life Doesn’t Rhyme)

Bruce Dalzell: I Cannot Look Away

Bruce Dalzell: It’s Not New Year’s Yet


Meets Tuesdays 7pm in the 1804 Room of Baker Center at Ohio University.

Ohio University Singer-Songwriter Circle On Pinterest

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